"The strangeness of this life cannot be measured." - John Dunbar, Dances With Wolves
That quote pops into my head from time to time and this is one of those times.
Just two months ago I reduced my small herd of horses to just one. I've been enjoying only having one horse to fuss over - one horse to care for and worry about and make plans with. At the same time there has been times where it feels strange to be at the barn. Once I'm done with Bo, I'm... done. Several times I've stood at the gate to his pen after putting him away and finishing chores and I've thought,
"Now what? ... Well, now I guess I go... home."
I think I've gotten used to it and have been enjoying having just the one.
Tonight I came home from a get together at a friend's house and checked my e-mail. I found a reply from one of the ladies who had given a home to two of my horses, an Arabian mare and her weanling filly. We've been e-mailing back and forth about the "girls".
I was surprised to see that her message was asking if I'd be interested in taking the mare back. She said she's just not working out for what they wanted her for. Without hesitation, I knew my answer would be yes. This was the arrangement I had made with them, for both horses. I gave both of the horses to them, under the condition that they be given back to me if things didn't work out. I wrote back and we've arranged that they'll bring her back tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not really sure what to do. This mare means so much to me and it was gut wrenching to see her go. I had decided at one point to keep her and Bo. That way my husband and I could each have a horse to ride and I'd have my two extremes again - Bo is the calm, quiet, lazy, "safe" horse (even though he's a stallion) and Leah, the mare, is the one with more get-up-and-go. She is a sportscar to his luxury sedan. When I had thought of keeping both of them, I had considered gelding Bo so that they could stay together. She has always been "his" girl. She was the first mare he bred and all through these years, he notices her more than any other mare.
When I decided to let her go, my husband confessed that the idea of gelding Bo had made him sad. He had been hoping that we would have a couple of Bo babies to raise up later on when we have property and when Bo is older.
Now everything is up in the air again. All I know is that pretty little Leah is coming home to me again. Beyond that we'll just have to figure it out...